Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 In A Nutshell

We can always look back, but we can never go back. That is why we have a heart that remembers - various good things that shall be kept and never be forgotten.  And it shall be lived each day as a part of who we are, because we are a mixture of our parents' genes and other people's influences .

We cannot rush for tomorrow and force the clock to run at a speed for our sake. Because today is a day that must be cherished. "Wherever you are, be there," as Francis Kong puts it. And so whatever the day asks for, give it with a kind heart. We are serving a bigger cause, not the one who we think we are serving for.

Even when others seem to pull your spirit down, remember Desidarata: Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. The bigger is your understanding, the more patience is expected of you.
– June 15, With Blindfolds and Handcuffs, with a Sweet Play of Violin Around

I had a deep, relaxing, and complete sleep. When I opened my eyes, I suddenly felt a real grown up. This line echoed on my ears: I am accountable for what I am doing. From that day on, I owned the consequences of my actions. I had no one else to blame for lost opportunities and chances. Likewise, I had nobody else to credit for all gains and pains. Everything was a product of my decisions and choices.

"During one of the chances that I had to speak, one asked, “Am I disappointed that I did not achieve the dreams that I originally had for myself?” I told them that there are other dreams to be made, there are there are other things to be accomplished. It doesn’t mean that if you fail to make your original dreams a reality then it’s the end of the world. You need to learn to dream other dreams and you need to reach for other things. We can’t all be Manny Pacquiao or whatever, we can be other things. You just have to dream other dreams, have a positive attitude towards life. Be the best that you can be and always be good to people regardless of your situation in life, it’s no excuse not be good to other people. You just have to be kind and fair."
- Juan Magdaraog, during our interview for Too Rare to be Noticed: A Documentary on Orphan Disorders (January 2010)

Graduation 2010
2010 was a ferocious year of transition. It was the year of my graduation, entry to service, and access to the professional world. It was the year of love and romance. I met new friends, rekindled friendships, and made a special friendship.

Apparently, what I have in mind right now is the feeling of having a good friendship with a good guy friend who I call my boyfriend – no more, no less. I am currently embracing each moment, each time that I get to spend with him because I believe God has given him to me to teach me something; consequently, I to him. We have been angels to each other – apart from I being a girlfriend to him, and he being a boyfriend to me.” 
– August 2, When I Told Papa I Already Had a Boyfriend

Desserting in Qoola after Dinner
I learned to embrace the present, at the same time, look forward for the future. Life is short to worry so much about what may happen or when things could happen. As the Bible says, “Today has enough cares for itself.” I learned to cherish every moment, every day, every night, every month. People come and go; enjoy new friends and treasure old ones. Love your family above everything else. But love God above all.

I would like to fill the bottom of my jar with the essentials of life. As of the moment, I prioritize serving God and building better relationship with my family. As for my ultimate dream, I trust in God for what we have agreed upon. In peace, I marked His words unto me, "I am giving the desires of your heart".

And I believe He will. I just could not let go of the peace, satisfaction and happiness that I feel now that I am serving Him. So I declared time's up and made a decision - with a sense of peace in my heart.”
– September 26, Time’s Up

I learned the importance of prayer. It changes lives, transforms dreadful moments, and vanquishes fears. It makes you accept things easier when everything else does not go as you planned it. It is the fuel of the soul when the heart is disheartened from the rejections and condemnations of the world. It makes you feel safe, loved, and secure. In the arms of God, nothing goes wrong. When you talk to God, He heeds every breath, yawn, sigh. He hears silent drops of tears and loud chuckles of laughter.

More so, I have got a powerful army behind me - saints, martyrs, fellow angels, even the legends of Greek mythology. I have my own line of communication with them that remains open 24 hours a day, seven times a week. This is the thing that mortals and angels have something in common: PRAYER, the only open line to Heaven. Thus, I have nothing to fear of. And you, mortal, yes YOU, you have nothing to fear of. Because rocking the Heaven's hearth is only a prayer away. Our names are etched upon the palms of these warriors and intercessors. And, I believe, God hears the prayer even of punished angels. That's how merciful He is, believe me. When you fear, you pray.” 
– July 4, Human Fear and Frailty, an Angel’s Plea

The Makati Feast Christmas Party 2010
Yes, I am accountable, but the clock of the world is not on my hands. I own my time, but I owe it from God. I may have my own timetable, plans, and agenda, but God has His own plan for me. Psalms put it more succinctly, “Everything has its own time and its own season.”

Anchoring TOMCAT's Thomasian News Bites for the A.Y's last episode
To this, I learned to never ever deny your dream. Shout out your vision of yourself ten years from now. And let them see the conviction in your eyes and the certainty in the tone of your voice that you are going to be it – ten years from now. As St. Paul told in his letter to the Philippians, “Therefore, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”” 
– August 25, The Denial of a Dream

With all these lessons, I claim abundance for the year 2011.

If we keep our eyes and ears open, our hearts open, we will find the place surely.  The phone will ring and we will jump not so much out of our skin as into our skin.  If we keep our lives open, the right place will find us." – Frederick Buechner 
– September 22, The Calling of Voices, The Hungering Dark (A Repost)

All Days are the Same

You see, yesterday is the same as today. The sun rises in the morning, stands still at noontime, and sets in twilight. The sky is bright in the morning and dark at night. Rainbows appear after rain; clouds unceasingly run on the heavens. 

What makes today different from yesterday is perspective. We believe in the concept of time. We set agenda for each day based on the calendar. Our ancestors have laid down holidays and feast days in different dates. Therefore, we celebrate Valentine’s day in February, Halloween in November, and Christmas in December. There is really no New Year, but the concept of time has made us believe that the year changes.

There is a thin line that separates yesterday and today. Once the clock sets at 12, calendar date instantly changes. Tonight, when the clock strikes 12, we say goodbye to 2010 and hello to 2011. 12:00 am of December 31 is the same as 12:00 am of December 30. What makes it different is our belief of New Year. Hence, we bang firecrackers and display fireworks to welcome another January 1. 

It is on January 1 that we try to start anew. Despite frustrations, heartbreaks, illnesses, losses, rejections, failures, and disappointments, we move on with our life. January 1 is the same as any other day, but because it is the beginning of another year, it becomes a stepping stone for changes, resolutions, and aspirations.

Our days are all the same. Nevertheless, they differ by the way we perceive and treat them. Thank God for the concept of time. We are able to start anew, and to move on from the dark memories of the past.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Just a Simple Update

Now, what I want to do is sit back, relax, breathe, and listen to The Script. 

I had a simple Christmas celebration with the family. This was the first Christmas when I had given  gifts to my parents, goddaughters and godsons, lolas, tita, and brother - with my own money-spent. It really felt good to share blessings to people, most especially to your loved ones. I only had a measly bonus and salary, albeit thank God I was able to budget them well. The biggest bonus was this: my parents and brother really liked my gifts. Thank you Lord for the blessings!

Today, we heard Holy Mass, and we had lunch in Dampa. After that, we watched MMFF in Greenbelt. All cinemas were jam-packed. Avoiding the late-night full shows, we ended up with Si Agimat at Si Enteng Kabisote. As a whole, I didn't like the film. Anyway, it was a fun day with my cousins. And Nin joined us, so it was a real bonding. Great Sunday!

As of this moment, I am pondering of the year that was, and the year that is about to come. Many things came and happened - unexpectedly. Though I know all consequences were products of my choices. For all the successes, failures, must-haves, could-haves, probabilities, and possibilities - I was the one accountable.

For all the blessings, gifts, friends, and families - God, thank you!