Thank You, Difficult People

 

Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and You showed mercy 

Like a morning cartoon show lullaby, this song has kept on repeating in my head throughout the day. 

While on my way to the office this morning, events of 2012 came rushing in. The rays of the sun crept through the windows and kissed my cheeks. It has been a peaceful morning: I was late, but the thought of going to work on a special non-working holiday was the best excuse to be OK to arrive late in the office. I wasn't in a hurry, not on a rush. Much like how I treated 2012 - specially the latter part of it.

I was expecting to do the usual weekday-work routine on the last day of the year. Writing for the noontime program in the morning, and 15-minuter updates in the afternoon. Same-same. Our anchor - who wasn't around for four days due to her no-voice illness - was present today. She asked some clarifications regarding one of the news I have written for a segment. I explained, and she suggested some ideas. I did as instructed, and it all turned out better and well.

I would like to thank her - and all the difficult people I have encountered this year. She has taught me a lot - from values, skills, work ethics, and attitude. She has been an epitome of who-I-don't-like-to-be to newbies in the industry when my career matures and brings me to greater heights. Career-wise, however, she taught me to be meticulous and aim for the best everyday.

I remember once, just about two weeks ago, she reminded us to be cautious of our writing and raise the bar. "Always try to be better everyday," she said. This girl has drawn all my good spirits and kindness in the past year; nonetheless, I had to admit, she has given me lessons I can bring throughout my industry life. 

I can now attest difficult people come into our life by no accident. They pass by, walk with us, and push us to our limits for a reason. 

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I'm pretty sure - well, I'm sure - I have been a difficult person to God, in many ways. I have been a consistent petitioner, but I fail Him many times when it comes to fulfilling my duties and service for Him. That is why it is no excuse not to forgive those who have wronged us and have brought us pain. If we're gonna sum up God's tears vis-a-vis ours, His would make up an ocean, whilst ours would fill a measly bottle of humanly pain. 

Thank you, Jesus. For your unfailing love. You are there when I am down and out. You're holding me, Your love is so amazing. Oh it changed me

2012 Wrap, Sort Of

I remember plunging into the seas of Dos Palmas for some snorkeling adventure. I did not want to let go of the rail I was holding onto. I had my life vest on, but I was afraid it won’t work. I was afraid to die. Little did I know, I would have my best life experience once I let go. And I did.

We have to loosen our grip from whatever keeps us intact and be ready to get broken and lost once in a while. We won’t see the beauty underwater if we remain floating on the surface. We have to be willing to let go of the rope, sail over deep seas, dive into the oceans, and paddle amid stormy waters to experience the best life can offer. There’s joy in our comfort zones, but there’s much of it outside – in our courage zones.

2012 has thrown me a lot – more than what I have imagined and asked for. From my work, to family, to so-called ‘romance’, service, and friendship. There were answered prayers, and there were also prayers that were answered even if I didn’t ask for it. There were many first times – a lot of them. I wouldn’t run out of first times every year, yet 2012 had given me a lot of must-have first times.

I weighed over 110 pounds, and gained a whooping 14 pounds in only three months. I weighed 117 in September - my heaviest ever.

Taken a week after my birthday. Clap clap for his milestone!

I had my first ever above-shoulders haircut. In June, barely a week before my birthday, I decided to get a bobcut – much like what Rihanna had when she rose into stardom haha. Here's why: a big chunk of my hair, especially on the tip portion, got burned when we had a birthday surprise for a friend. The giddy and excited me eagerly held the cake with a well-lit candle on top of it. After the surprise, we noticed something smelled weird, and blamed it first to the party-popper which didn’t pop. Until I saw my poor, burned, brown hair – in all its unglory. So I decided to get a cut.

My hair is growing pretty well now.

Color stories aside, I also had a haircut to begin anew. Having been from a failed relationship, it was good to shed off some strands and have new ones. As pop culture puts it, pagupit ka na, move on. Insert hastag-Basha with the line, “You had me at my best.”
Hahaha.

But I have to admit, this failed relationship has been amongst my greatest, biggest blessings (no stir, no bitterness, in all its sincerity) this year. It was when it happened that:

• I opened myself to service even more, and new doors for service opened before me (i.e. dance, Feast bulletin, CGs, etc.)
• I looked forward going to work, because I wanted to keep myself busy.
• I appreciated the love of my family and friends even more. In turn, life threw us plane tickets and travel times and we had our best travels yet.
• I felt the support of friends around me. Parang basketball league lang. I remember how one of them would usually say (insert LISSY name here haha!), "We’re on your side. Kakampi mo kami!" Like a war, just like that :P
• I gained new friends. Lifetime, true, sincere friendships (insert RUTHIE name here).

Joseph Prince once said God breaks our heart so he can penetrate our souls. He creates cracks so he can enter and cleanse our pains. Sometimes, unknowingly, we spend our time, effort, and treasure on things too much. We waste our time on ephemeral things. 

Or, maybe, we spend more than what we can on things which may last a lifetime. We overlook the fact that there are other important matters we have to attend to. We forget that we have a God whom we pray for our dreams, hopes, and aspirations. When God breaks our heart, he breaks our humanly desires, to bring back what’s divine, untouched, and pure in us. He doesn’t punish, rather, he teaches and comforts. He merely wants to shift our attention back to Him, fix our eyes on Jesus, and focus on the good. The things that we run after and look forward to must always be for the long term.

Riding the boat for the Underground River

Before snorkeling at Dos Palmas

My brother's smile over Pandan Island's heat and beauty

It was also this year our family had our first (yes, FIRST!!!) travel together. Amid Papa’s busy-ness, and mama’s homebuddy-ness, we managed to get out of Manila for a Subic getaway in January, and a Palawan weekend in May. I was beyond joyful spending precious time with my family, and having them, above all.

Papa underwent an operation in October (Is it? Can’t remember exactly what month). He had an open surgery for his gallstones. I was so fearful of losing him, although I know, it would just be a simple surgery, just like what my friend has gone through a month before him. It was when I realized how important family and loved ones truly are.

Mommy, my lola from the father’s side, also went back to our Creator, in His loving arms. Painful, yet we all know she’s now in the happily ever after of life.

I also learned business, got more interested in the financial world, and explored several sideline opportunities this year.

There have been pending answered prayers, which I claim this year. 2012, you were awesome. Saludo ako sa’yo. :)