Sunday, June 9, 2013

Lots of shiz at 2 a.m.

                                     Shiz n. \sheez\ Refers to anything. Synonymous to stuff.

                                   Ex. Shiz like that shouldn't be allowed to just come to pass!
                                             What are you holding? That shiz is adorable!

Shiz is a term I learned from my friend Queen. She uses it often during random conversations. As a noun, shiz is interchangeable with stuff. For example, she would say, "Ang saya non, Jam! Yung mga ganong shiz" or "Kulang sa thought, lagyan mo ng word, kahit anong shiz..."

Allow me to share the shiz I have in my mind right now.

1. I had one of the toughest week I ever had at work. Well, it was a rollercoaster ride. We had a new producer on Monday, we were informed about a possible promotion on Tuesday, we had a terrible and tiring Wednesday and Thursday, and we had a smooth-flowing and easy Friday. While en route home on Friday, I could barely resist my eyes begging for brief shutdowns while I was on a cab. I could feel my body being literally pulled down to the hearth for a much-deserved rest. When I arrived home, I laid down and slept for about two hours - with my work clothes on - before I finally mustered the energy to wash-up. Dead-tired, truly.

Nonetheless, I am thankful. God pushes you to your limits and rocks your boat for you to look farther and go beyond the horizon. I was never expecting the announcement from my boss. I have been pondering of expressing my intent to do something else at work. But then, we have been offered this. I'm giving it a try, so I can learn the ropes even more and see how much more I can do. I learned you won't always be given what you want, but the world will give you options to help you get what you want. I'm making the office my professional playground where I can compete with myself, and at the same time, goof around with my colleague-friends. I will always have to bear in mind that everything I have right now are answered prayers. Even if some have yet to be answered -- still, they are answered, but in a manner of "wait".

2. Eraserhead's "With a Smile" just popped in my mind. 

Lift your head
Baby don't be scared
Of the things that could go wrong
Along the way
You'll get by with a smile
You can't win at anything
But you can try

My brain is a DJ-radio tandem of sort: it plays a song that expresses what I feel. So there, we'll get by with a smile.

3. Our new producer is really getting into my nerves. I dislike many things about him. Professionally speaking, he rants about so many things very publicly that I am often tempted to ask him, "Sir, gusto mo pa ba yung ginagawa mo? May choice ka naman e." Yet I realize that at times, we just have to let go of what we can't change and get by with them. In this case, the above-mentioned attitude of my co-worker. Again, we'll get by with a smile.

4. I am blessed with good people wherever I go. I got new friends in the office who are gradually becoming so dear to me. And they actually helped me live in the week that passed. Angels abound!

5. Mama and Papa are not in good terms for more than a week now. Before Mama went to sleep, she told me, "Kausapin mo na yang Papa mo...." Et cetera et cetera. I am not used to things like this. I don't like being caught in the middle. Yet being the panganay, I have to step forward and make a move to patch things up. Oh, boy, I hate family issues. Let there be peace on earth.

6. I'm gaining weight again. I can feel my shorts and jeans getting more skimpy. Muffin top bulging. I have to get back to jogging again.

7. So far, I haven't read as interesting and can't-put-down book as "The Fault in our Stars". Though I'm in the quarter of "Abundance of Katherines" (also John Green's) and a few others of Green in my stash. In line are Murakami and Hosseini.

8. I went up our rooftop because I wanted to get a feel of a quiet "outside". I was actually longing for a good convo over coffee with a friend or two, yet I'm already home. I miss honest and sincere talks over coffee or milk tea. Maybe that's why I am writing shiz right now in lieu of midnight talks. 

9. My birthday is fast approaching. I have no idea what to do on that day. 


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