There came a moment when I did not want to be left staring into the open, because I couldn‘t think of anyone or anything worthy of my free attention. I loved being occupied and pre-occupied – of appointments, meetings, research, assignments, trainings, favors. That was why I thought I was a student workaholic. I did not want to wake up without any bullet to cross-out in my to-do list. Probably, I thought, I would become a focused and will-powered career woman after school.
Nonetheless, when I graduated, I found myself enjoying the liberty a freeman.
For 15 years in the academic arena, I wrestled with schools of thought and scientific and mathematical formula gaining me medals that count to more or less 30. I ended my academic commitments with flying colors, giving me a leeway to consider having fun – real fun – which I did not have during school. I mean yes, I DID have fun, but not that kind which I saw in my other friends and blockmates (having a SOLID circle of friends who I could spend my time with without discussing anything important, going to bars and having that so-called “nightlife”, drinking until you drop while having random sleep-overs, etc.). The fun which I had revolved around fulfilling obligations as an officer in my school organizations, doing homeworks and finishing readings for next day’s discussion, and training for debate. I guess the most “teen-like” experience that I had was lying down on our university’s field one late night while screaming to the black blanket of sky with studs of stars watching.
But there was a lack of appreciation to the privilege given to a supposedly carefree, laughing-to-mistakes teenage lady.
That was why, when I graduated, I decided to enjoy the liberty of a freewoman.
I would go for an overnight stay out-of-town in a new friend’s home – with other new good friends around. I would spend late night with my best friend in a coffee shop catching-up about our lives – and other people’s as well. I would go out with new companions for a badminton morning gimik and sit comfortably after, while eating our lunch and waiting for fellows to come around. I would venture into social circles composed of people slightly older than me, listening to their stories, laughing at memories of cartoons of the past like Voltes V and Ghost Fighter, and spending an entire afternoon of various merienda.
I would wake up early in the morning, jog for minutes and do aero for an hour with my cousin. I would stay up until dawn in front of our computer, chatting with my tita from Canada and other friends who I have not seen for a long time. I would play with my youngest cousin and watch him sing “Baby, baby, baby oooh,” while stomping his right foot and twirling around until he gets dizzy to lean on the wall. I would go out with my brother, at times with my cousin, to play basketball and air hockey in arcade gaming stations and watch the latest films in movie houses. I would speak to my favorite Tita (who also favorites me) about random things – from the simplest to the most serious topics about our life (and love). I would kid with mama while cleaning our house to ease her stress of everyday routines and anxieties. I would talk to Papa like he is just a brother to me, and I, her usual little sweetie pie princess asking for stuffs that now go beyond Barbie and doll houses.
I would spend a couple of minutes reading the Bible for the day’s Gospel and verses the moment I open my eyes in the morning, and also before calling it a day at night. I would serve God through worship and random acts of love and kindness.
I would listen to Him by heeding the counsel of my wise angels in the guise of loving people around me. I would serve Him by being an angel to friends – old and new alike.
I would open my heart to new friends which I seldom do, and open up for a lasting friendship of trust and love.
At the moment, I am enjoying the liberty of a freewoman.
Right now, I am left staring into the open. And I liked it because I feel liberty. I can say, “I am free.”
Nonetheless, when I graduated, I found myself enjoying the liberty a freeman.
For 15 years in the academic arena, I wrestled with schools of thought and scientific and mathematical formula gaining me medals that count to more or less 30. I ended my academic commitments with flying colors, giving me a leeway to consider having fun – real fun – which I did not have during school. I mean yes, I DID have fun, but not that kind which I saw in my other friends and blockmates (having a SOLID circle of friends who I could spend my time with without discussing anything important, going to bars and having that so-called “nightlife”, drinking until you drop while having random sleep-overs, etc.). The fun which I had revolved around fulfilling obligations as an officer in my school organizations, doing homeworks and finishing readings for next day’s discussion, and training for debate. I guess the most “teen-like” experience that I had was lying down on our university’s field one late night while screaming to the black blanket of sky with studs of stars watching.
But there was a lack of appreciation to the privilege given to a supposedly carefree, laughing-to-mistakes teenage lady.
That was why, when I graduated, I decided to enjoy the liberty of a freewoman.
I would go for an overnight stay out-of-town in a new friend’s home – with other new good friends around. I would spend late night with my best friend in a coffee shop catching-up about our lives – and other people’s as well. I would go out with new companions for a badminton morning gimik and sit comfortably after, while eating our lunch and waiting for fellows to come around. I would venture into social circles composed of people slightly older than me, listening to their stories, laughing at memories of cartoons of the past like Voltes V and Ghost Fighter, and spending an entire afternoon of various merienda.
I would wake up early in the morning, jog for minutes and do aero for an hour with my cousin. I would stay up until dawn in front of our computer, chatting with my tita from Canada and other friends who I have not seen for a long time. I would play with my youngest cousin and watch him sing “Baby, baby, baby oooh,” while stomping his right foot and twirling around until he gets dizzy to lean on the wall. I would go out with my brother, at times with my cousin, to play basketball and air hockey in arcade gaming stations and watch the latest films in movie houses. I would speak to my favorite Tita (who also favorites me) about random things – from the simplest to the most serious topics about our life (and love). I would kid with mama while cleaning our house to ease her stress of everyday routines and anxieties. I would talk to Papa like he is just a brother to me, and I, her usual little sweetie pie princess asking for stuffs that now go beyond Barbie and doll houses.
I would spend a couple of minutes reading the Bible for the day’s Gospel and verses the moment I open my eyes in the morning, and also before calling it a day at night. I would serve God through worship and random acts of love and kindness.
I would listen to Him by heeding the counsel of my wise angels in the guise of loving people around me. I would serve Him by being an angel to friends – old and new alike.
I would open my heart to new friends which I seldom do, and open up for a lasting friendship of trust and love.
At the moment, I am enjoying the liberty of a freewoman.
Right now, I am left staring into the open. And I liked it because I feel liberty. I can say, “I am free.”
No comments:
Post a Comment