Tonight, Tears have Flowed from My Eyes

Tonight, tears have flowed from my eyes.

I am happy. I have a balanced life. I am paid for what I love to do. I walk with the Lord. I have dreams which I claim are coming true. I have a thankful heart. I have a hopeful mindset. I have good relationships.

But tonight, tears have flowed from my eyes. Because I have a love to dare or to spare.

To dare. I have a love to challenge, to continue, to insist on having. Everyday, I wake up with a thought that someone thinks of me when he wakes up – just as I do think of him in the morning. I anticipate for the chances of spending time with him in whatever kind of “date” we may have. I love the feeling of having constant reminders during mealtimes. I love seeing my Facebook photos with someone who I can call mine. I empty one of my hands to hold his hand. I hug and cuddle; I kiss and embrace. I whisper a prayer of wellness for him. I say “I miss you”, “I love to see you”, “I love you”. I say I really do.

And a love to spare. I have a love to turn my back from, to deny, to let go. Maintaining a relationship is different from having someone to love. Having someone to love is taking care of him, securing him, trusting in him. You show affection, practice fidelity, show kindness and express sweetness. But maintaining a relationship is entirely different. You have two people who think, feel and know that they have someone to love. Affection, fidelity, care, security and trust do not journey in a one-way road. It traverses highways and skyways where toll fees are paid at a high price. Maintaining a relationship is like singing in duo, dancing tango. You have a good music, you sing your part, but if the other does not, you cannot tell you’re singing with a duet. You have the music, but it turns out to be not the expected kind – where two voices blend to make a real, unmatchable harmony. 

Also, it takes two to tango. A dance will not be a dance when there is only one who exerts effort to move one’s feet, sway one’s body and shake one’s booty. It is not a dance. It is a disaster.

Tonight, tears have flowed from my eyes. Because I have a love to dare or to spare.

Relationships fall apart. People grow apart. Hearts break in pieces.

Love fades.

When God intervenes, He blesses

We were supposed to attend the PICC Feast today. However, because of the result of Papa's medical examinations, we needed to go to his doctor for further interpretation and explanation of whatever was written therein. "Consider Hypertension Stage 2," it said. 

Blessedly, it was nothing very serious. Papa needed just to cut off big food intake, and have things taken in moderation. The doctor gave him a "Diet Guide for High Cholesterol Patients", plus follow-up check-ups every month to monitor his health. As mama said, "Kasama 'yan sa pagtanda."

When God intervenes, He blesses

The Lord replied, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to

mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. 

- Lk. 17:6

After Papa's check-up, we heard mass at Don Bosco, Makati. The priest's sermon was very meaningful. In line with this Sunday's readings which focused on faith, he enumerated the three characteristics of a faithful person:

• A faithful person prays to God.
• A faithful person does not turn away from God.
• A faithful person converts his faith into action and deeds.

Further, he stated, "Your faith - however big or small -  is very powerful... Because the power of your faith comes from God. You have trust in Him."

One of the best lines that he has said (which really struck me) was this: When God intervenes in your life, He wants to bless you. That's why, when we intervene in other people's lives, we have to bless them as well.

I thought to myself: God is - apparently - intervening in my life. All that I have planned beforehand have been changing. Whenever I pray to Him and ask for discernment, He simply nods His head for approval. And when I feel peace in my heart, I know, He is smiling at me - for my deeds, for my decisions, for everything that I am doing.

Machine a la human massage

With the mass ending at 1.30 pm, we headed directly to Greenbelt to have our lunch. Afterwhich, we tried the free body massage offered by Isukoshi.

Remote control of an Isukoshi chair massager

The whole-body massage was completely machine-generated. You would simply sit down on a comfortable chair armed with a soft foam, clothed in a cool leather outer skin. Thereafter, in a few clicks, you would feel a repetitive force from behind onto your back, around your feet and legs, and around your arms, like how a human also does a massage. This one is a really good invention: a stress-free, home massage in a click!

From left: Jigs, Papa and Mama (blocked by the assistant in green)
enjoying the massage

Cyclops? Nah, it's Jigs slowly falling asleep with the eye-relaxing massager

Nonetheless, the machines come in a very expensive price - really a HIGH-tech price - ranging from Php 70,000 to Php 200,000.

In the end, Papa bought the slimming belt and the iNeck massager. Oh, yes, slimming belt, which can also be used to massage your back, thighs and legs.

The free body massage is still available in Greenbelt 5 (beside Dulcinea), as well as in other Ayala Malls.

Fortnight Budget Proposals to Self

Trying all my best to be financially literate, I have created a budget for myself that I may be able to spend my money wisely (in the wise way that I know hehe). Since I would be earning every two weeks, I have already allotted a certain kind of amount foreseen expenditures in this-and-that; above all, allotting percentage to love offering and savings. I am trying to apply the 30-70 rule: 30% goes to tithe and savings, 70% goes to your own expenses. Thanks to Tita Ann for introducing me to financial literacy.

In a good attempt to budget my first salary

I would be starting my work on Tuesday (October 3) since the company moved their office to another building and Monday would be spent for fixing the cables and other office stuffs. Hence, I would allot my Monday on acquiring TIN ID and my NBI clearance.

I hope I could continue this until I get old. I would like to be responsible with my expenses. Anyhoo, this proposal is not yet final - JUST a proposal. In my second half-month salary, my remaining budget would only rate to .02%. Hello, thats' - uhm - pretty impossible to bear haha!