The Weight of Flight

Strong Women, Soft Hearts by Paula Rinehart

This has been sitting idly in my study table for a few years now, basically untouched. During my unholy cleaning of my room on Christmas eve, I found it again—along with a bunch of other books either half-read or unread at all.

I flipped through the first few chapters of this book when Crae gave it to me back in 2012. I was at a different time and mental space, with the younger, idealistic, hopeful me wanting to change the world, touching lives, and making a name for myself (so much for reading about the lives of successful, passionate people in my high school). I didn’t finish the book, obviously, and only read probably a fifth of it.

Eight years later, entering the new year (and a new decade), I found some quiet time to sit down and actually read it from the beginning to end. It felt different—delightful, even—to do so and, in many ways, I relished every word and phrase every turn of the page.

Now, at a different time and mental space, I have had my fair share of trials and challenges, failures and heartbreaks. No denying that God’s bountiful grace also led me to small wins and successes. I made some life decisions that I know made me better, but others turned belly up. Mired in monthly bills, caring for my parents, and saving up for some future big dreams, I have become pragmatic from idealistic, still wanting to touch lives but already finding it not-so-possible to change the world. Somewhere down the road, I lost myself, needing some pasturing—with a dysfunctional compass failing to find its true north.

Finishing this book now is timely. I am far from having a wise heart and a passionate life, but I have come this far—and I am no longer where I used to be. Among the many key takeaways (that also painted a clear image in my mind) is the proverbial butterfly coming out of its cocoon, told this time from the perspective of building strength:

God follows the same pattern in our lives that he has hidden in the secret of the butterfly’s cocoon. A cocoon is not the place of dark nothingness we think. A world of stuff is happening in there. In order to get out, this little creature must wrestle her way. The roll and tumble it takes for her to emerge—to bust her way out—is what builds sufficient strength in her wings to support the weight of flight. Without the struggle of the cocoon, the butterfly would be earthbound.

God knows that the strength that comes from wrestling with our fear will give us wings to fly.

Savoring the last holiday weekend before the official start of work for the new year. I do not know what lies ahead, but God knows. And that’s all that matters. He will grant us the grace to build (and rebuild) our strength and support our weight of flight—as we soar higher.