Drops of water strongly bang the roofs that are mostly metal and plastic. Half an hour later, the sun peeks again from the clouds that have turned to strato-cumulus from cumulo-nimbus. At dusk, it rains again. Truly, weather nowadays are very unpredictable – outweighing the essence of wet and dry season that tropical countries like the Philippines are expected to have. As what an advertisement claims, “Ngayon ay panahon na ng suddenly.”
Ngayon ay panahon na ng suddenly. It just dawns on me that this phenomenon does not only apply to weather-season changes, but also to life. Life transforms in just a blink of an eye.
A month ago, I was called for an interview in an HR firm in Makati. As unexpected as it was, it paved way for me a potential employment in Thomson Reuters where a high school friend was also working. With my friend’s explanation of how her work there goes – which was supposedly what I would have – I instantly felt the desire to work the same way. Though, it was not really the kind of first job that I was anticipating (and praying for as well). But I felt my application was blessed because I passed the initial assessment and the initial interview, leading me to the final interview.
Claiming that it would already be the job that I would first have – ever in my entire life – I did not look for any other potential employment. I went to the final interview and talked with eloquence and confidence to the managers of the company. Upon being asked by friends how the interview was, I responded with ease, “It went well.” I really felt it went well, and told myself that weeks from now, I would already be signing a contract.
Until suddenly, six sweet days of hopes and dreams after the interview, I learned that I did not pass the application. “Thank you for trying some time off to try applying for this position”: this was the most pleasant words that I could read in a text message that I received from the HR firm which referred me to TR. Suddenly, all my plans and visions vanquished into thin air.
It is not only weather that unpredictably changes, but also the occurrences that happen in life. At one point you are healthy, until your head, stomach or breast aches; you will just learn that your health is at stake and shall only be living for six months. At one point you feel love, until adultery sets in and devours all the love in a man’s heart. At one point, you are hopeful; in an instant, your hopes will dissipate and convert into frustration and anguish.
Ngayon ay panahon na ng suddenly. In times like this, when the strength of the sun instantly becomes drops of rain – with the distressing sound of thunder and the alarming sight of lightning behind dark, speedy movement of clouds – we need an umbrella to protect us from being soaked in rain (or dark tan from the harmful UV rays of the sun). We need an umbrella of faith to shield us from the dizzy effect of being immersed into the twists and turns of life.
This is what I need right now. For minutes, I have doubted and have talked to God like a child who has been deprived of a matchbox after being enticed in a toy store – where, in the first place, I never intended to go. Oh, little faith. I see myself as Peter who have submerged into the sea after testing the waters with just a dint of faith in his heart, to whom God has said, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Probably, my umbrella of faith is broken – or needs a repair. May it be repaired by my prayers and worship to the Lord.
I believe, I am being redirected to the true and real desires of my heart.
"We will never ever know the ultimate reason for our existence... the only possible answer to the question is I DON'T KNOW.
.. The only possible solution: to follow our dreams. Having the courage to take the steps we always wanted to take is the only way of showing that we trust in God. As soon as we accept this, life takes on a sacred meaning...
We don't look for an answer, we accept, then life becomes more intense, much more brilliant, because we understand that each minute, each step we take, has a meaning that goes beyond our individuals... We realize that there is a reason for us being here, and for us, that is enough."
- Brida, Paulo Coelho
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