I was Afraid of Change

“Pero ngayon, hindi na. Sa totoo lang, pinili ko ang mapag-isa. Nadiskubre ko kasi, masarap pala kasama ang sarili. Wala kang ibang pananagutan kundi sarili mo lang. Gusto ko rin kasi nasusunod ang lahat ng gusto, ayaw ko nang may pinakikisamahan. Gusto ko mahusay ang takbo ng mga plano ko. May kaunting takot kasi ako sa pagbabago. May kurot ng takot sa puso ko.”

That was what I said three sweet years ago when I was in second year college. Being with the same people, being in the same school, traveling the same places for 10 years since elementary and high school made me fearful to face big changes in life. That was why when I entered college, I was a young lady afraid of change.

Nonetheless, these days (now that I am already out of school with diploma and honors), I do not fear change anymore. There could probably be whispers of alarm and a light gush of blood to and fro my heart when I sense something new is going to happen, but I whole-heartedly try to embrace change. No, not TRY, but I EMBRACE change. As Robin Sharma puts it, “The wise embrace it (change)”.

At my age, I guess, it would already be a necessity. Most especially now that things are not going the way I envisioned it to be. I am not in the place I have dreamed myself of working (actually, I am still hunting for my first job), not with the people who I have expected to be enjoying time with (not being in the workplace I have dreamed myself to be meant meeting new people during interviews and recreations while still in vacation). Be it as it may, I must say that these are all blessings in disguise, because I am currently enjoying new relationships, new friendships, new places, new environment. I am joyous with whatever is happening right now; without my warm embrace for change, all these would just be equated to broken dreams instead of a sweet blessing. That is why I say at this age, an embrace to change is a necessity.

Currently, I am praying for a good news to come my way with regard to a final interview that I had in the week that passed for my first job. Please pray for me as well, and together, let’s embrace twists and turns of fate everyday of our life. Let us just always remember the words in Desiderata, “No doubt, the universe is unfolding as it should.”