In the last hours of 2011, I find myself getting rid of unnecessary stuff in my room, giving away old but usable stuff to my cousins, rearranging my books and giving away kiddie reads to my youngest cousin, and filling in the first planning pages of my 2012 planner. And in the remaining hours of 2011, I am retracing my timeline from the beginning of what - two hours from now - I am going to refer to as 'past' and 'last year'.
The last hours
I suddenly had the impulse of scrapping old college books, manuals, notes, and papers which I have kept for two years now. My mother has always wanted to have a good riddance of those as I am already finished studying, and new stuff have been bought, given, and gifted. There are no more spaces in my room for all of them. I nonetheless insisted to store them for one, I thought I would still be needing for some random-discussions-that-would-require-comm-theories-logic-and--statistics. Two, I loved seeing and reading scribbles and notes and remembering how, where, when, and why I wrote them.
But in the last hours of 2011, I realized new things would find no place where there are overwhelming volumes of mementos and unnecessary stuff. I needed to choose which things to keep and which to junk to make way for the fresh, modern, and new. In one way or another, this would make me ready and and all-arms-open to the new year on hand.
After an armful of kiddie books, a handful of scratch papers, four sacks of manuals and books, and a bag of bags, I vacated a storage box and threw away two broken book shelves.
I gave space to new stuff that matter and bring smile to my lips: shoes, bags, and books.
Jam's 2011 capsule
In that very same place, all my failings surely would have drowned me,
but still you made a way.
One of the most significant things that happened this year was getting in to the company I am now with. In the first quarter of 2011, I have prayed for a job that will hopefully lead me to my dreams. I remembered the day when I have absented myself from work (on my first job, for this matter) and attended an interview that does not guarantee a new one. On that day, I remember telling God I am doing a leap of faith in search of my dreams. After weeks of prayers and hopes, lo and behold, there was a positive feedback, and I have a good riddance of my first job in exchange of a new one.
I did not get my dream job in an instant. I have actually failed in doing so. But being where I am now gives me hope that that day will come when I can say, "This is it. This is really is it is is it nang bonggang bongga". A new year awaits memories of hard work and sweet victories. After all, I have long learned I am not like anyone else who gets things at once. I have always needed to exert extra effort, work hard, and persevere to achieve my goals. And pray for it, above all things.
In that very same place, all my failings surely would have drowned me, but still You made a way. Despite wrong decisions and infidelity to my dreams brought by fears and indecisiveness, God has still given me a chance to fulfill them. We truly have a God of second chances. No, God is a God of nth chances.
The whole world will turn its back on us and people will mock and stone and tell us "You're not worth it and you'll never make it." But the Heaven will open and its light will shine into our hearts, saying, "Where hopelessness abounds, God's grace abounds even more."
Heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseeen.
In October, I attended the Love Life retreat of the Makati Feast. It was one the best - if not the best - retreats I have ever attended. The mix of wacky activities, solemn reflection times, and bonding with fellow retreatants have made it a truly memorable experiences. It was where spells were broken, bondages were destroyed, and bad memories were forgotten. After the two-day retreat in Tagaytay, there was a breath of fresh air all around.
Heal my heart and make it clean. Open my up my eyes to the things unseen. Jesus knows too well our humanity and frailty. Amidst and despite all these, His arms are ALWAYS wide open to welcome us whenever we come to Him and His Spirit always arises whenever we pray for a miracle or grace. He ceaselessly forgives, blesses forever, and loves unconditionally.
All lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twisted turns of fate. Time falls away, but these small hours, still remain.
I joined two video-making contests with friends this year. In January, Wado, Judy, Alexis, and I joined the Asian Development Bank video-making contest. After a year of dreaming of making our own film, we finally had the chance to do our mini-production. We brainstormed together for the film with the theme "Water conservation". I made the script, Judy directed, Wado acted, and together, we pulled it off. Even though we didn't win, we had fun in shooting and coming up with a video we can solely call our OWN.
SOMETHING FUNNY: In the last hours before submission did we realize the theme for the contest was "Conserving Water". We created a film centered on love and life, so we were totally out of context. Even so, we were creative and wise (hahaha whatever), and we managed to link our storyline to the theme to accredit our entry to the competition. And so, we did.
In July, Nin and I joined the Smart Extraordinary video contest. It entailed story-telling on how Smart changed your life. Out of a spur-of-the-moment-idea-over-a-sumptuous-dinner, Nin and I decided to tell the story of how smart helped enhance our friendship through Smart Buddy and Smart Bro. Besides, we have called each other 'buddy' ever since, so we related it to Smart Buddy. Nahahaha, I know, pinilit lang. Makasali lang!
Time falls away, but these small hours still remain. These endeavors are among the happiest moments of my 2011 with dear friends. This is the perfect example of the belief it's not about the destination, but it's about the journey. It has never been entirely about the prize and the prestige, but about the memories. Oh-so-love moments with dear friends and my buddy :)
Firsts in 2011
- First CG I headed (with lovey partner Ruthie)
- First time of Mama and Papa at The Feast
- First Valentines
- First Year with my CG-Up (Ate Lissy's)
- First Buddy Anniversary
- First Bonding with cousins in Bicol and Trip with Nino
- First Dance at KCon
To 2012, with Love
I am writing this portion at 1 in the morning of January 1, 2012. Fireworks have been consumed, firecrackers have been blasted, coins have been showered, and food have been eaten. Hugs have been exchanged, kisses have been given, and love have been handed. Happy New Year, everyone!
Jesus, thank you for another year! Cheers for another year filled with grace and love!